He’s using me and I’m letting him.
But now I feel more alone than ever and regret it so much because I feel like shit
I love boys, but I also hate them.
I remember your laugh.
I remember that when you sleep you mumble words and you twitch out of nowhere. I remember that your favorite sub at subway is the chicken teriyaki with extra sauce. I remember that you used to love me.
I remember every small detail about you.
I will never understand how someone can just wake up one day and tell you that this isn’t what they want anymore. When the night before they were kissing you and telling you that they loved you. The person you’ve spent the last three years with just drops you. And doesn’t even look back. And you beg and beg until you realize that even though you love this person so much maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe it was. Because you feel like you could’ve sworn he was the one and could’ve sworn you guys would get married. And now you look back at the plans you guys had. Like the apartment you would be living in in the summer or the dog you guys would buy from Vancouver and the furniture you had picked out. The color of the couch and size of the TV. And now you’re stuck. Stuck because your heart tells you to fight for this person but you can’t. you can’t because this person just completely deleted you from their life. And you can’t because this person is a piece of shit for doing this to you. But you love them. Then you realize that you’re only 19.You have your whole life ahead of you. Bar hoping on your 21’st birthday, traveling around the world, laughing at this situation when you actually find the one, laying on the beach with your best friend having a popsicle, all the concerts you want to go to, living your life. You can’t just beat yourself up everyday because of a boy who broke your heart. Karma will do it’s job and when you’re happy with yourself living your life with your future other half then maybe then he will be feeling what he put you through. So all you can do right now is find happiness in yourself. It’s hard but you can get through it.
- A letter to myself
I hope that in the near future
you go back and look at them
booty pics and think to yourself,
"damn why’d I let her go"
It was my birthday. Turned 19. Best day of my life.. I was on cloud 9. Everything was just going so well. I finally felt happy with life. I just wish I could go back in time to a month ago. Because 4 days after that my life turned into hell.
Today my boyfriend was stressing me out and I started crying and then he told me to look at him and he said, ” babe I’m sorry I made you cry I didn’t realize I was stressing you out, but hey look at it this way , no matter how perfect our relationship may look we see that there’s flaws and that’s what makes us stronger”
These pills are the only things that keep me under control.
It hurts too much to say I love you because in a way it feels like you don’t feel the same.
so glad the school year is over. So so glad!
screw partying this summer and being wild. that’s what college is for. I just want to sleep the whole summer and not be disturbed by anyone.
My summer will consist of
Hey guyz look where I went last night! :)
I’m waiting for you to do something nice for me for once.
I’m tired of being the only one giving 110%
Thanks for being there for me when I needed you the most.